Friday 24 August 2018
One night in 1988 my friend and i were walking around town and suddenly we heard a strange sound coming from this rusty old apartment it seemed like someone was hurt so we went in to cheek when we went in it when it turned terribly quite. Dust is everywhere when your walk the wind brings the dust up to your face dust got in my eye when i looked back my friend was gone I yelled her 3 she did not answer i heard a creepy sound i ran out of the apartment to my mum.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Kia ora Summer,
ReplyDeleteNice job!
Your story was very interesting and it seemed very scary...
A little heads up on what you need to work on:
I couldn't really understand the middle part of the story because the words didn't make sense, they were in a weird order.
Everything else was very good, My favorite part was how you looked back at your friend and she was gone... Keep up the great work summer.
Goodbye for now.
-Bailee.
Good story Summer - I’m pleased it was not you who disappeared into the dust though!
ReplyDeleteHi Summer
ReplyDeleteI really like how you described the old rusty apartment. Next time reread your writing.
from Milan G
Hi Summer
ReplyDeletei liked how you described how you felt.Next time you could check your spelling.
from Alexi